!!
!!!
!!!!
"continue snoozing?"
.
.
.
!!
!!!
!!!!
"continue snoozing?"
6:30am
fuck, why did I continue snoozing
stretch
head on pillow, eyes closed, body stretches, arms limp

crawl to end of bed
right arm hits computer
itunes
gmail
facebook is taking over my inbox. fuck facebook, why do i use this.
because you have to. because you are alone here.

karen o
mini-dance party with myself
eyes still closed.
good morning self, you look wonderfully asleep still.
shower? or no shower?
no shower.
jean shorts
bra
t-shirt
belt
bracelet

should have shaved last night
who cares...
ginger body cream
deodorant

bathroom
ew, did i really just unroll a cockroach hiding behind the toilet paper?
didn't flinch, too tired.
face is washed, nose looks ok this morning.
don't forget sunblock today, you need more sunblock.
teeth are brushed
that's where my sunglasses went. cant wear them.
contacts. eyes. pain. medical insurance. HVMA. don't care enough. i like my glasses anyways. last night he was so drunk. "guys make passes on girls with glasses. glasses are sexy."

coffee! bless your soul meg, already made.
cup. coffee. microwave. i hate microwaves.
breakfast. cereal. owe meg so much money.
soy milk. did i buy this? why does it run out so fast. soy milk isn't even good for me. i need to eat more fruit.

sunblock, makeup, glasses.
banana.
cup, iceeeeee.
water....
...
...
...
this takes too long, wtf.
...
...

purse. keys. phone. shoes.
ew my feet are gross. still dirty from yesterday.

door. open. closed. locked.
breathe.

heart beating fast.
faster.
anxious.

stumble over keys. circle or square key? circle. unlocked.
handle,
handle,
HANDLE.
open. jesus...

heart beating faster.
breathing heavy.
bag on seat.
window open. shit i still have that trash in the bed of the truck... need to find a dumpster. need to learn to drive this thing! why did i buy this? there must be maggots in that trash by now...

foot on clutch.
foot on break.
disengage parking break.
circle or square key? square.
its on.

heart beating faster!
faster!
first gear.
foot off break.
look in mirror.
slow.
slow...
footongasfootoffclutch.
YES
okokok

slow. do it again. shut up you're brave.
2nd gear, 3rd gear.
STALL.
fuck...

TRY HARDER.
did it.
done.
footonclutchfootonbreak.
made it alive.
waialua kitchen. dirt.

"g'morning Lan, yeah i'm getting the hang of it!"
smile. anxious.

my day begins.